les pensées

Do you remember the age when you realized that your parents were not perfect, did not have all of the answers, and made mistakes? It was around 9 for me.
Caleb and I had (another) long talk last night, and he was surprised to discover my many imperfections. It was a relief for me. It is hard being a parent (in case you were not sure) and ultimately, you want your children to be happy and productive. But Caleb is only 12 and he seems to carry this burden around and I find myself often telling him to please try and remember to enjoy his childhood. He has such an innocent and idealistic nature that I don't want to change, but I also don't want him losing sleep over the world's problems. At the moment, he is so tormented with the notion of finding an idealistic religion and he has nearly decided there isn't one. He even suggested to me that he is considering writing down his beliefs and starting his own place of worship. He just is not sure what he will worship. I am supporting him in any way I can, but the questions he asks are very difficult and I have to tell him that I do not have all of the answers. He cannot believe that I can live my life day to day in a shroud of uncertainty. To be honest, he wears me out. He is always reading, writing, or wanting to have deep conversations. I asked him play on the computer (he plays runescape) a bit last night before he went to soccer practice, just to try and rest his mind a bit. I am glad that he feels he can talk to me about anything, and I know we will always be close. That is one benefit of having him at 19... I got to know him early in my life and we have grown closer as he has gotten older. He may hate me one day, but I think if he hates a parent- it won't be me. Sorry, honey.
cioa amigos.
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