did I ask you?

It is kind of funny that people are so openly nosy about my life right now. My family has been in Sapulpa for 3 generations, so the fact that we are leaving is big news, I guess. But it still catches me off-guard that people I don't know very well want to know every detail, and then give their opinion. (I can't imagine being so rude and intrusive to people I don't know that well) The questions they ask are all the same, so I have my "story" - but they usually start by saying something like, "Are the rumors true?" (In a hushed voice, mind you) I want to say, "Well, my job is posted and my house is on the market, what do you think?" But I smile and nod.
I have had two different people tell me today that I should be ready for a divorce and for my kids to hate me. (They were both women who had put there husbands through law school- one had gotten a divorce) The latter was so fiercly negative and when I insisted that I knew this is what I am 'supposed' to be doing... She took that as "God's Will" and immediatly changed her disposition. It was very bizarre- she got this glazed look in her eyes and she suddenly became my greatest advocate. I think she's praying for me right now. It made me wonder how someone gets to that point. I could have said it was God's Will to bomb an abortion clinic, and she'd light my fuse. It is people like that who support Bush in this war when he says that it was God's Will to attack Iraq. (though he later denied the statement- he has alluded to it)
The school musical opened today. They did Grease. It was great- but I feel sorry for the person who sat next to me.
Happy Friday.
hugs,
me

So yesterday, as I was being formally reprimanded for letting my students bring food while the French kids were here ( 2 weeks ago- see archives), my principal says to me, "I know you are not a trouble maker, you just care too much for your students...You put their needs before the school policies, and that is when rules get broken..." Of course, I apologized for the 50th time, assured her it was not outright dissmissiveness of the rules, but a simple oversight...to which she replied, "You'll see when you study law that policies and rules are important, they are there for a reason and ultimately- no one agrees with all of them, but we must follow them, just the same." (Yes, she is so wise)
Her last statement got me thinking about why I am so excited to study law and I love the idea that someday I may get to create policies- but to me it is also exciting because the law is often to open to interpretation. We are not talking about numbered rules on a wall- in a classroom where the rights of the students are few and there is no jury (just a judge-or dictator). I have been reading up on some legal theories, and I came across this book today on Amazon and it made me realize one reason I am so drawn to law -it talks about how they are applied... Here is an excerpt. (Although I fear Lisa will be the only one who will read it)
" ... This dynamism in legal reasoning is not too different from what happens in scientific research, for in the latter new laws (rules) are discovered in the process of interpreting new data that has been acquired by new experiments. The data may then have to be re-interpreted in the light of the new laws (rules) that are formulated. Future data that is similar to this data will then be interpreted under these new rules. Future data that is very different from this may entail a new set of rules be invented (discovered) to deal with this difference.
The issue then, Levi explains, is to when one must view different cases as the same. An intersection of the set of facts of two cases entails a general rule be applied. This "reasoning" is imperfect, Levi argues, since the conclusions were arrived at by a process that was not transparent. Levi summarizes this as a process in which the classification changes as the classification is made, i.e., the rules change as they are applied. This might seem troubling to some, but Levi explains that such a situation is desirable since without it, new ideas could not enter into the legal process. Thus a static view of the legal process where consequences are derived from a closed system of rules is not useful in legal reasoning. In addition, Levi argues, fairness to the parties involved in litigation is served best by this ambiguity in legal categories. The commonality of the ideas of society coupled with the contributions made by legal experts both serve to shape the law. "
BOOH-YAH!
~g

class of 06

Hmm, guess who is the key-note speaker at OSU's graduation this May? Yup. It may be related to the fact that OSU engineered some lightweight vests for the soldiers in Iraq. Guess who is loading up her kids to march in the anti-war protests? To quote the great Neil Diamond, "Hell yeah". Now the question is, what to put on my sign? It must be short, and clever. I think I'll let Dylan run naked and paint him "Laugh-In" style.
I had a conversation with Caleb today on ancient Japanese culture (he is really into samurai) and I could not hold my own. He is 12 and I could not have an intelligent conversation because I know nothing about ancient Japanese culture...He went on about the detrimental effects of the missionaries and the introduction of guns into their culture, and the only thing I could utter was, "Yeah, guns are rarely good for any culture." Sensing my inadequacies, he was kind enough to change the subject.
Mark forgot to mention that not only did Liam shit on the deck, but I showed the house w/ shit on the deck. It was a nightmare. I blamed Missy. Poor Missy. It was a man I work with and his wife. (The one who looks freakishly like Mark's dad) They dropped by because they saw the sign. As they were looking, they kept saying things like, "Well, our house isn't even on the market yet..." They were polite, but very uninterested. I think the shit would have scared even the miost interested buyer.
Well, I here's hoping for a wonderful Monday and another quick and painless week.
Kisses,
~G

2 kool 4 skool

Second grade rocks. I got to spend the day with about 3 million second graders yesterday on Dylan's field trip. We went to the Blue Bell ice cream factory and then to the bowling alley. Dylan is by far the coolest kid - everyone wanted to sit next to him on the bus and they fought over who got to bowl with him. Granted, he is entertaining. After most kids were bored with the ice cream factory, Dylan was still mesmorized as the half gallons continued on their paths to our grocery store. Not surprising that a kid with OCD enjoys watching such a repetitive process, but he was so into it. They gave us these cool paper hats, and he was all about it. He wanted to wear it to school today. He kept yelling at the tour guide "WANT ICE-CREAM!" After which his classmates would cheer as if they wish they could be so bold. Bowling was interesting, as well. Of course Dylan shared the lanes w/ the 2 cutest girls in the class, and he even won the 1st game. His style was throwing the ball as he stood on the line. (there were bumpers) Several times, the ball just stopped about mid-way, but it was never boring. He also hit the jack pot on one of the games and won about 100 tickets (he likes putting the quarters in the slot) We took our booty in suckers, thank you. Overall, it was a fabulous day and I was so relieved to get some respite from daily life.

Goodnight.

Kisses,

me

ps I quit my job today. No calls on the house yet...

a message to wynona

Wynona, you bitch. I told you to keep your fucking hands off my man. If I see your skanky ass around my house one more time, I'll kick you in the throat...you don't want to know what will come next. So back off- he doesn't love you and he never will. Go back to Johnny.

happy bonne idée

There is something to be said for an Oklahoma spring day. I love days like this. It has been breezy and warm - perfect for spring projects. I took yet anther load to the goodwill, to the consignment store, and to the used bookstore today. I feel certain the sign will go up tomorrow. The house is painted and flowers are planted. We are ready to sell. I am scared and excited.
Tomorrow, we are spending Easter at my bro in law's parents. I am not really sure why, but I am just glad this will be my last Easter in Kellyville, USA. They like to talk politics, which means I get to keep my mouth shut as they bash Democrats in the name of God's will or whatever. Then the kids will hunt eggs and then I will explain once again why there is no meat on my plate. Hopefully there will be some good candy to make it more bearable. I really don't listen too much to the conversations- I just get through the day trying to avoid discussions on my beleifs or my future plans. If I am lucky, Dylan will need me to keep him occupied.
hugs,
~G

PS This is one of Scot's- I wish I could take this bird to lunch w/ me tomorrow.

je suis méchante

Building penises out of leggos (and simulating felatio), stealing signs from the school front doors, putting CDs in the microwave in the Spanish class are just a few of the shinanigans pulled by some of the French guests these past two weeks. Actually, just two of them. They taught my students nearly every cuss word, and through it all I have kept my good humour- I mean they are not here for long and it is good for my students to hear true French, right? They are clearly represseed young men that have been given a taste of what it is like to be an American teenager (in Sapulpa). Their enthusiasm is endearing. (and the accents...) But, when the assn't principal and school police officer called me into their office to tell me that a friend of one of the other host told that student's mom (who is hosting another kid) that someone told her that they were sneaking off in the evenings (when they were supposed to be at church?!!?) to smoke pot- and I needed to take care of it. WTF? First of all- I could care less what they are doing in the evenings- so as they don't get hurt. Second- a friend of a friend's mom?! Third- IF I tell their teachers about ANY of the above behaviors they would get expelled from their school. (It is a top ranked school in France- private and very prestigious) But I was afraid that they might call the coordinator of the exchange (my former French teacher- a putain herself) and I knew she would not hesitate to have them expelled... So I found the accused and asked him point blank if he had been smoking pot while he was here. I felt like such an ass. Poor kid- I know he is rambunctious and maybe he had- but he looked so shocked that I was confronting him. He has long scraggly hair and I hate to say it, but I think that was a big reason he was singled out. After I explained to him why I was asking, I tried to console him that I believed him and would not say anything further. He wanted so desperatly to convince me that he did not smoke anything at all. I could tell he was hurt by my accusations. I feel horrible aboutthe whole situation.
It does not help that my principal burst into my last class today to yell at the kids because she had seen them bring pops and snacks to my classroom... Well today was the last day for the French kids to attend class (they have field trips next week) so, I told them they could bring treats to share. Forgetting to get her approval was my fault- so I apologized and tried to explain things to her when she turned to me (wagging finger and all) and said, "We'll talk later." in front of my entire class.
Man I am glad I will be at Woolaroc tomorrow with the French kids laughing at the shrunken heads and (not) eating buffalo burgers. (though I could)
peace.
~G

les pensées

Do you remember the age when you realized that your parents were not perfect, did not have all of the answers, and made mistakes? It was around 9 for me.
Caleb and I had (another) long talk last night, and he was surprised to discover my many imperfections. It was a relief for me. It is hard being a parent (in case you were not sure) and ultimately, you want your children to be happy and productive. But Caleb is only 12 and he seems to carry this burden around and I find myself often telling him to please try and remember to enjoy his childhood. He has such an innocent and idealistic nature that I don't want to change, but I also don't want him losing sleep over the world's problems. At the moment, he is so tormented with the notion of finding an idealistic religion and he has nearly decided there isn't one. He even suggested to me that he is considering writing down his beliefs and starting his own place of worship. He just is not sure what he will worship. I am supporting him in any way I can, but the questions he asks are very difficult and I have to tell him that I do not have all of the answers. He cannot believe that I can live my life day to day in a shroud of uncertainty. To be honest, he wears me out. He is always reading, writing, or wanting to have deep conversations. I asked him play on the computer (he plays runescape) a bit last night before he went to soccer practice, just to try and rest his mind a bit. I am glad that he feels he can talk to me about anything, and I know we will always be close. That is one benefit of having him at 19... I got to know him early in my life and we have grown closer as he has gotten older. He may hate me one day, but I think if he hates a parent- it won't be me. Sorry, honey.
cioa amigos.
g

test pic

Happy Autism Awareness month. Be aware- be very aware.

love

MOI

yellow.

Some highlights of the past few days...

• The French kids are teaching my students all of the typical bad words, but today in class as we were going over the homework, one of my students told me in perfect French that he liked to look up my skirt. The French student sitting next to him burst into uncontrollable laughter, and I have to admit I, too had a good laugh. The kid thought he was asking to get tissues from the office. French is fun. Speaking of which...
• The labor law that the students were protesting died over the weekend... We'll see what they (the gov'nt) does next, it is getting very interesting. Mark decided that he would be a professional protester if we move to France.
• Liam has been peeing in the potty since Saturday. He went all day in u-wear with only one (major) accident. He even learned to pee in the yard
• My spelling team came in second at the spell-around on Saturday (in our category). I still don't know what syzigy or Hereford mean.
• It was excellent getting to see Scot... Caleb was very impressed and cannot wait to visit LA.
• I won a prize (an Asian vase and some fresh flowers) at bunko on Sunday and ate lots of excellent veggie sushi. We had a great time après aussi.
• My family was very nice at the lunch for Shelby's birthday on Sunday- I don't think there were any caddy comments the whole time.
• The weather has been amazing.
• Our house is looking better each day- there will be a sign up by the end of this week.

good night.

~g

comfortably numb

I should really be stressed, I know...but I am not. There is not a for sale sign in my yard yet, but I have to move in 4 months. I don't know where I am moving, but I am. I repeat, I don't know where I will be in 4 months. Plus, I am going to France next month (for a month). I need to sell my 2 cars and trade them in for a new one I can afford. I don't know about getting Dylan's services transferred or finding Mark a job, because I am not sure where we will be. Why am I not more stressed? I don't know.

I am taking everything day to day. I am focusing on finishing the projects here to get the house ready. We are almost there, but the weather delayed a few things that should get done this weekend. I am going to send my deposit to Vermont tomorrow and I am going to go ahead as if that is where we will be. I will have to apply for some private loans, and hope we will qualify. I will also request an application for Mark next week. If I get an acceptance letter from Hastings, we will scrap the Vermont plans and head west. If I don't get the loans I need for Vermont and I don't get into Hastings, I guess I will go to TU for a year and hope I will get a transfer. I guess I should send them a deposit, just in case.

After a long (and intriguing) discussion on religion, Caleb asked me if he had to be a Christian. (of course I said no) He wants to look into Confucianism and Buddhism. Isn't this supposed to happen in college? Questioning your beliefs and finding yourself? He is so aware- so perceptive and pensive. It is frightening.

Our French students are visiting. They are so cute. I hope to live in France with my kids some day. At least one year- maybe two.

Well, I am sorry my updates have been sparse, my computer time has been limited lately. By the way, some students asked me today if I was pregnant. They said I looked "poochy". I guess I am a little bloated, but damn- kids can be so RUDE. Ouch. Sometimes I just want to say rude things to them, too. But that would be wrong- so I smile and remind myself I only have 7 more weeks of my teaching career.

I have the same feeling that I had the last year in college- you know when you feel like you are just waiting for your life to begin. I am ready to close this chapter and begin the next one, but technically, the words have yet to be written.

Happy Friday.

hugs,

~g

des photos

It has been a very full weekend. I am exausted, but I don't think we are quite ready to put a sign in the yard. The Special Olympics were fun, and I am very proud of Dylan's performance.

Here are some pix from this week...Dylan after winning 2nd place in his race (That is his friend Austin- who came in first- it was a Forrest Gump moment), Chloe creating a forrest for "The Funky Man" (a stick she made into a toy), and finally Liam with a SERIOUS case of bed-head.

My neck is sore from painting the front steps, planting flowers, packing, and cleaning today... So I think I will say good night and try to get some sleep.

Bonne Nuit,

~G